The Redneck at the Zoo

A small Alabama Wild Animal Park acquired a very rare species of gorilla.  Within a few weeks, the gorilla, who was a female, became very difficult to handle.  Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem.  The gorilla was in heat.  To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Reflecting on their problem, the park administrator thought of Eddie Standen, a redneck part-time intern, who was responsible for cleaning the animal's cages.

Eddie, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.  The park administrator thought they might have a solution.  Eddie was approached with a proposition.  Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Eddie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.  The following day, Eddie announced that he would accept their offer, but only under the following four conditions.

• "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her on the lips."  The park administrator quickly agreed to this condition.
• "Second," Eddie said, "you must never tell anyone about this."  The park administrator again readily agreed to this condition.
• "Third," Eddie said, "I want all the offspring to be raised Southern Baptist."  Once again the administrator agreed.
• And last of all Eddie stated "You've got to give me another week to come up with the $500.00."

Revised 04/05/06

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