Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for
the answer.
In a trial, in a small Southern town the prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and
you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not
knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones,
do you know the defense attorney?" She
again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster too. He's lazy! , bigoted,
and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to
mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One
of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him." The defense attorney
almost died
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
I'll throw your sorry asses in jail"
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