Crazy Computer Viruses

• The Dick Cheney Virus is so old it only works in DOS.
• The Supreme Court Virus won't let you use the letters G, O or D on the keyboard.
• The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
• The Al Gore Virus causes your computer to count and recount over and over again.
• The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
• The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
• The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
• The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
• The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.
• The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.
• The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
• The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
• The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.
• The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

AND THE SCARIEST VIRUS IS...

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5-inch floppy...then discards it through Windows.

Thanks to Jim for this "good one."

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Updated: 09/25/2010