COLD WEATHER

60º above zero.       Floridians turn the heat on.

People in New England plant gardens.  

50º above zero.       Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in New England sunbathe.  

40º above zero.       Italian and English cars won't start.

People in New England drive with the windows down.

32º above zero.       Distilled water freezes.

Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20º above zero.       Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats.

People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15º above zero.       New York landlords finally turn on the heat.

People in New England have the last cookout before it turns cold.

Zeroº                          People in Miami die - or return to Cuba.

New Englanders close the windows.

10º below zero.       Californians go to Mexico.

People in New England get out their Winter coats.

25º below zero.       Hollywood disintegrates.

Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

40º below zero.       Washington DC runs out of hot air.

People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.

100º below zero.     Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in New England get frustrated because "the caah won't staaht".

459 º below zero.    All atomic motion stops.  (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).

People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"

500º below zero.     Hell freezes over.

Red Sox win the World Series.