Q: Why do you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: I hope it's mine!!!!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawn mower?
A: The green "Welcome" mat is ripped all to shreds.

Q: What did the blondes mom say before she left for a date?
A: If your not in bed by 10, come home!!!!

Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A: To see what's on the other side.

Q: What do you call 2 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted flakes.

Q: Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was eating all the W's.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in
alphabetical order.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing in a row?
A: Wind tunnel.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: What's similar about UFO's and a smart blonde?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see one...

Q: If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would
land first?
A: The brunette. The blonde would have to stop and ask for
directions.

Q: Why don't blondes like pickles?
A: They keep getting their head stuck in the jar..

Q: What is a brunettes mating call?
A: Have all the blonde's gone home?

Q: What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
A: An Interpreter.

Q: What does a blonde say first thing in the morning?
A: Are all you guys on the same team?

Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair black?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: 100 - 1 to stir and 99 to peel the M&Ms.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
A: Whiteout all over the screen.

Q: What's similar about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Smart
Blondes?
A: They are all make-believe.

Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First

Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their bras?
A: Tits Go In First

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: How do you change a blondes mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an airplane?
A: The Black Box ALWAYS tells the truth.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: How is a blonde unlike the Titanic?
A: You know how many men went down on the Titanic.

Q: Why did 18 blondes go to the R-rated movie?
A: Because they heard that under 17 was not admitted.

Q: Why did the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out the W's!
A2: She was TRYING to put them in alphabetical order.

Q: What do four blondes have in common?
A: Nothing they can think of.

Q: What does a blond say after making love?
A: "Thanks guys..."

Q: What do most blonds have against condoms?
A: Their cheeks!

Q: What happened to the blond tap dancer?
A: She fell in the sink.

Did you hear that the only job for blondes at the candy factory
is proofreading the M&M's?

What's the worst blonde joke of all time? Dan Quayle.

What's the difference between an intelligent blonde and a U.F.O.?
There have been U.F.O. sightings.

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet???
The winner of a Hide and Seek game...

What do you call a blonde with 1/2 a brain?
Gifted...

How can you tell if a blonde has used a computer?
There's white out on the screen...

Do you know what a blondes mating call is???
Oh, I'm soooooooo drunk...

Q: What goes "VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM 
SCREECH!"
A: A blonde at a flashing red light!

Q: Why can't blondes use birth control pills?
A: They keep falling out.

Q: What happened to the Blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
A: She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.

Q: How does a blond hemophiliac cure herself?
A: With acupuncture!

Q: Why does a blond eat beans on Saturday?
A; So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.

Did you hear about the blond who was two hours late getting home
because the escalator got stuck?

Did you hear about the blond who stayed up all night studying for
her urine test?

Did you hear about the blond prostitute who didn't vote?  She
didn't care who got in.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought a sanitary belt was a
drink from a clean glass?

Did you hear about the blonde who only smelled good on the right
side? She didn't know where to buy left guard.

Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband
because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook
them.

Did you hear about the blonde who lost her mind? She worked in a
whorehouse for 6 years and then found out the other girls got paid!

Did you hear about the pregnant blonde who went to the grocery
store because she heard they had free delivery.

Q: How can you tell when you're in bed with an Blonde man???
A: It's not hard.

Q: What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
A: An Air Pocket

Q: What do you call a blond driving a car?
A: An Air Bag

Q. How does a blond screw in a light bulb?
A: With lubricant...

Q: What does a blond put behind her ears to attract men?
A: Her ankles!

Q: Why couldn't the blond make Kool-Aid?
A: She couldn't fit all the water into that little packet!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde girl who thought her typewriter
was pregnant?
A: Seems it was skipping periods.

We have a Blonde where I work, who is so dumb she thinks
Manual Labor is a Mexican.

Q: How does a blond screw in a light bulb?
A: She holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to
revolve around her.

Q: What did the blonde say when the job interviewer asked her to
spell her name?
A: "H-E-R N-A-M-M."

Q. Why Do You Take A Blonde Shopping With You?
A. To Be Able To Park In The Handicapped Zone.

Q: How do you give a blonde more head room??
A: adjust the steering wheel...

Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do a Bleached Blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have little Black Boxes

Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone's been in a 747!

Q: What's the other difference between a Blonde and a 747?
A: A 747 only goes down occasionally where a Blonde... well...

Q: What do you call a blonde in leather jacket?
A: A rebel without a clue!

Q: Why Don't They Give Blondes Coffee-Breaks?
A: It's Such a Pain In The Ass Having To Retrain Them All The Time.

Q: Why Did The Blonde Have Bruises around Her Navel?
A: Her Boyfriend Was Blonde Too.

Q: What do you call a group of blondes sitting in a circle?
A: A dope ring

Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of cheerios?
A: Oh look, daddy...doughnut seeds

Q: How do you drown a Blonde?
A: Put a mirror in the bathtub...

Q: How do you know when a blonde is having her period?
A: When she can't find her pencil and her tampon's behind her ear.

Q: What do you call the excess flesh around the vaginal opening?
A: A blonde.

Q: How come the blonde had a square chest?
A: She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who lost 85% of her brains?
A: Her husband died.

Q: Why can't blondes fart?
A: They don't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
A: Tell her a joke on Monday.

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blondes' eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

Q: How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave.

Q: How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
A: Fell out of the tree.

Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A: To see what's on the other side.

Q: Why are all blonde jokes one liners?
A: So men can understand them.

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